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A CRUISE TO THE COAST OF PIRATE-INFESTED SOMALIA

To-The-Point Cruise

  


To The Point Cruise Lines is excited to offer the ultimate adventure cruise, along the pirate-infested coast of Somalia.

Ultimate Adventure Cruise Route
Rates and Availability
Ship Name Starting Price Days Availability
Avenger $5,000.00
5
Limited Berths
Sun Splendor $5,200.00
5
Fully Booked
Grand Voyage $6,150.00
7
Reservations Available
Horizons IV $7,091.00
10
Reservations Available
Horizons III $5,200.00
7
Fully Booked
Grand Voyage II $6,300.00
7
Fully Booked
Grand Voyage III $5,200.00
5
Reservations Available
Coastal Paradise $5,200.00
7
Reservations Available
Coastal Paradise II $8,200.00
10
Reservations Available
Peril Princess $5,200.00
7
Fully Booked
Peril Princess II $5,200.00
7
Reservations Available

We board our luxury cruise ships in Djibouti on the Gulf of Aden near the entrance to the Red Sea,and disembark in Mombasa, Kenya, seven adrenaline-charged days later.
Reservations start at only $5,200 per-person (double occupancy, inside room) and $6,900 (verandah complete with bench rest).

You'll relax
like never before!
That's because you are welcome
to bring your own arsenal with you.
If you don't have your own weapons,
you can rent them from our onboard
Master Gunsmith.

Enjoy reloading parties every afternoon,
with skeet and marksmanship competitions
every night!

But the best fun of all, of course, is ...

... Pirate Target Practice!

The object of our cruise is to sail up and down the Somali Coast waiting to get hijacked by pirates!

Weapons rentals:

Weapon Selection
Price
Description
AK-47 Light Assault
$12.00
Per Day
On a budget?
Rent a full-auto
Scope-mounted
AK-47 for only
$9/day with 7.62
ball ammo at $12
per 100 rounds.
M-16 Full Automatic
$25.00
Per Day
Rent a full auto
M-16 for only
$25/day with ammo
attractively priced
at $16 per 100 rounds
of 5.56 armor-piercing.
Barrett M-107 50 Caliber
$59.00
Per Day
Hello! Nothing gets a
pirate's attention like
a Barrett M-107
50-cal sniper rifle;
only $59/day with 25
rounds of armor-
piercing ammo
affordably priced
at only $29.95.
RPG Launcher
$175.00
Per Day
Want to make a real impact?

Rent an RPG for only
$175/day with three
fragmentation rounds included!
A true favorite among pirates,
rent one today and show you care!

Customer Testimonials
"Six attacks in 4 days were more than I expected.
I bagged three pirates, My wife nailed two,
and my 12-year old Grandson sank two boats
with the mini-gun.
This wonderful cruise was fun for the whole family"

-- Fred D., Cincinnati, OH
"Pirates 0, Passengers 32!
Well worth the trip! Can't recommend it highly enough!"

-- Ben L., Bethesda, MD

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!
Twin mounted mini-guns are available for rental
at only $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire!

Additional Cruise Line Services
  • Need a spotter? Our professional crew members can double as spotters for only $30/hour.
    (spotting scope included, but gratuities are not)
  • Also included: Free complimentary night vision equipment - all throughout the night.
  • Coffee, pastries and snacks are always available on the Main deck from 7pm until 6am.
  • Our deluxe package comes complete with gourmet meals and all rooms offer a mini-bar.
OUR SATISFACTION GUARANTEE!
We guarantee you will experience at
least two hijacking attempts by pirates
or you'll receive an instant $1,000
refund upon arrival in Mombasa.

How can we make that guarantee?
We operate at 5 knots just beyond 12
nautical miles off the coast of Somalia,
thus in international waters where
pirates have no rights whatever.
In fact, we make three passes through
the area's most treacherous waters to
ensure maximum visibility by Somali
mother ships.
We repeat this for five days, making
three complete passes past the entire
Somali Coast.
At night, the boat is fully lit and bottle
rockets are shot every five minutes,
with loud disco music directionally
beamed shore side to attract
maximum attention.
ACT NOW!
Cabin space is limited so you need to respond quickly.
Reserve your package Before May 31st and get a great bonus -
100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice!
So sign up for The Ultimate Somali Coast Adventure Cruise now!

   BUT THERE'S EVEN MORE!   
Reserve Now - and be automatically
entered to win a 5 minute time slot
on the Captain's own Twin Browning
50 Caliber M2HB installation!

"I haven't had this much fun since
flying choppers in 'Nam."

Don't worry about getting shot by pirates...
they never even got close to the ship
with the crap they shoot and their
lousy aim...
"Come on board and bag your own
clutch of genuine Somali pirates!"


 

The initial version appeared May 2009 on the To The Point News website (http://www.tothepointnews.com/content/view/3617/85/), entitled "The Ultimate Adventure Cruise" and written by To The Point News.

This version comes from the September 16, 2010 issue of the Gary Rumain's Mad About Mahound website at
http://madaboutmahound.blogspot.com/2010/09/to-point-cruise-lines.html

The article is also available as a video at
To-The-Point Cruise Lines

Thanks are due Boris Celser for sending it in.

 

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